Towards the end of my pregnancy, I wrote a post all about my thoughts on impending motherhood. Well, it’s been over seven months since Teddy was born and I have a follow-up.
In the past seven months, everything around me has changed. My routines, my relationships, my short and long term goals. Before I had Teddy, I knew that a lot of changes were looming just over the horizon. And yes, there have been changes. Some good, some not so good. Probably more than I expected or could even tell you about. But at the end of the day, I’m still me. I personally didn’t change all that much.
People say that motherhood changes you but I think it’s more that it opens your eyes to new feelings and experiences. Because I’m still the same fashion-loving, workout obsessed, cable knit wearing woman that I was before but with a whole new ability and appreciation to and for love.
However, my priorities shifted more than I expected. Things that I used to think were important aren’t actually all that important. Social media being the most obvious example but also what people think of me. I have my inner circle and the opinion of those few people are the only ones that I really care about. When it comes to what I look like, how I parent, or what I’m wearing, there are very few people whose opinion I’ll actually listen too.
The news is even harder to deal with – this is one thing that I really didn’t expect. Andrew and I have talked about now when we hear a news story, especially about children, it’s not a nameless faceless child our mind conjures up anymore but our child in that situation. This really hit home for me when, over the summer, a toddler nearly drowned in our local pool. It was a busy day and the pool was full of people but nobody really noticed that a baby was unsupervised. Everyone just assumed that the whichever adults were nearby where the child’s parents. It ended up being another child that noticed the baby floating facedown and raised the alarm. For whatever reason, this story resonated really hard with me. I think the combination of it happening locally and in plain sight of everyone, that is so hard. Every time that story came up over the summer, I just pictured Teddy in that situation and in that pool and each time, it’s heartbreaking.
But the biggest surprise about becoming a mother is how right it just feels. I never envisioned myself as a mother but I adapted to it so naturally and with ease. I can’t quite explain the feeling except to say that having a child and leaving my job behind to stay home with him was the right choice for me. I’m so grateful that I have this opportunity to see him grow and learn new things daily and I don’t for one-second regret my decision. I’m happier than I’ve ever been and my little sleep stealing nugget has just about everything to do with it.
For those of you reading this who might be in the same position that I was while I was pregnant, don’t worry. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never held a baby or changed a diaper before. When your own little squish is placed in your arms, it all just makes sense.
xo – Ana Luiza
